In today’s episode, Jaelyn Vickery, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and I are exploring how emotional wellbeing and financial health are deeply connected. We discussed how disordered consumption can show up in areas like money, food, sex, and even validation, and how to break free from these cycles to live more balanced and abundant lives.
Jaelyn is a financial wellness advocate who combines her passion for mental health and financial literacy. She’s on a mission to help individuals, especially youth and athletes, understand the emotional side of wealth and navigate their financial journeys with wellness in mind.
Social media links:
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- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jaelyn-vickery/
- She can also be contacted at 8d****************@gm***.com
- Disordered Consumption – Substack: https://substack.com/@disorderedconsumption
- Dimensional Wealth – LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/dimensional-wealth-llc/?viewAsMember=true
- Podcast: https://financefitnessfinesse.podbean.com/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jaelyn-vickery/
A list of Jaelyn’s programs:
- 1. Dimensional Wealth LLC – Build Wealth with Wellness via 1-1 coaching, workshops, public speaking and more.
- 2. Building Your Own Blueprint – A program for you to build your roadmap towards holistic abundance.
- 3. Disordered Consumption – Learn how to escape cycles of consumerism.
- 4. Student Wellness Guidebook – Connecting campus culture to wellness education and resources.
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The Dr. Sev Talks Money podcast’s mission is to empower women to approach money confidently, reframe their financial habits, and build a future where their money is a tool for opportunity and security. Through Dr. Sev Talks Money YouTube channel and Podcast, I provide actionable advice and inspiration to help you achieve financial freedom. Join me for one-on-one coaching, group sessions, workshops, or speaking engagements as we journey to financial empowerment together. It’s never too late to begin again—let’s make it happen!
Here is one way you can support the podcast and YouTube channel: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/DrSevTalksMoney
My website: http://www.sevtalksmoney.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/DrSeverineBryan–SevTalksMoney
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/severinebryan/
Transcript
Dr. Sev:
Hey, hey, hey, savvy squad. Welcome to another episode of the Dr. Seb Talks Money, YouTube and podcast where we empower women to manage money confidently and create a future of financial freedom, security and opportunity. In today’s topic, we’re exploring how emotional well being and financial health are deeply connected. We’ll discuss how disordered consumption can show up in areas like money, food, and even validation in how to break free from these cycles to live more balanced and abundant lives. My guest today is Jaelyn Vickery. My guest today is Jaylen Vickery, a licensed clinical social worker and and financial wellness advocate who combines her passion for mental health and financial literacy. She’s on a mission to help individuals, especially youth and athletes, understand the emotional side of wealth and navigate their financial journeys with wellness in mind.
Dr. Sev:
Jaelyn, welcome to the Dr. Sev Talks Money, YouTube and podcast.
Jaelyn Vickery:
Thank you so much, Dr. Sev. I’m so happy to be here.
Dr. Sev:
I’m happy to have you. We said a lot at the beginning and I know I am very interested to dive into this topic. So can you share. Start. Can you start by sharing what inspired you to explore the connection between emotional well being and financial health and how disorder consumption plays a role in that?
Jaelyn Vickery:
I really appreciate that question and you did a really great job bringing in a little bit about me in the intro. Just to reiterate a little bit of what Dr. Sev said, I’m Jaylen Vickery. I go by Jay. I’m a licensed social worker that works in clinical psychology and I specialize in financial therapy and mindful consumption. What got me started on this journey? I’m a gen zer. I went along the path of, you know, you got to go to school and get all the right grades, get your degree. I was a student athlete in college, so certainly went on the track of being a high achiever and completing all the steps that I was supposed to complete to be a successful adult in Illinois.
Jaelyn Vickery:
But after graduating with two very expensive degrees and stepping into the world of caring for myself as an adult, I realized, wait a minute, I don’t really have my gen EDS didn’t teach me the skills to be a functioning adult in America. So I dove into a job that would teach me about money and help me make good money. And so that started out working in banking and I really went on this journey of building my own financial literacy and personal finance journey. However, working in banking, I realized that upon talking to different people, I spoke to a customer born in 1925, all the way up to somebody born in 2015 and over that generational gap, the common theme was extreme emotional distress and dysregulation around money. And my background in psychology and then pursuing my degree, my master’s degree in social work really enabled me with the natural skills to de escalate intense money conversations. And so that’s what got me started in. After I got done with banking, wrapped up my degrees, I was like, okay, there’s something here in regards to our behavioral relationship with our money and with our emotions. And then that launched me into researching eating disorders and financial strain, publishing that, working as an eating disorder therapist.
Jaelyn Vickery:
And within the last year as I’ve really picked up on the extreme extent of consumerism culture, which nothing wrong with being a consumer. We have to consume to survive. However, we’ve reached a point of disconnect with ourselves and what we consume, and that’s what where disordered consumption is born from.
Dr. Sev:
Yeah. And with that, can you explain a little bit about what is disordered consumption?
Jaelyn Vickery:
Yeah, yeah. So disordered consumption. I. This is one of those terms that, you know, you wake up in the middle of the night and you’re just like, whoa, I have this idea, or I have this term. I wonder if it’s been researched. It hasn’t. I went into the depths of Google trying to find like, is there anything along the lines of disordered consumerism? And I couldn’t find anything. So I was like, okay, we live in the information era, yet we’re not actually aware of where consumerism could be deterring us from living a life of fulfillment versus helping us reach that, that place that we’re really trying to be, and that’s at peace.
Jaelyn Vickery:
So to fully answer your question, disordered consumption is a pattern of excessive, compulsive or avoidant behavior that’s related to acquiring, using, or even withholding resources. Like I said, we have to utilize resources to survive. So I’m not saying that we’re not meant to consume, we very much are. But these resources can include food, money, material goods, information validation in belonging to a community, and disorder. Consumerism can also be driven by our emotional, psychological, and especially societal influences rather than our actual needs and values.
Dr. Sev:
Yeah, I can see that happening, especially in today’s world where we spend hours on just scrolling, just looking at things on the Internet with no intention, intentionality behind it, just looking, looking at what other people are doing, watching hours of television, consuming magazines, and just really focused on what is that person doing today? Or what is this person doing today? Some celebrity. I can see that happening because there’s so much turmoil going on in the world that some people find that consumption helps them deal with the turmoil and that sometimes that’s to their detriment that they are consuming so much that they’re not functioning in their full self. They’re not functioning in their best, you know, using their best abilities to, to function and to be them, their best selves because they’re so busy trying to overcome the things that are going on in the world and that’s the way they deal with it. So I think this is a great thing that you’re doing, exploring this, this topic and how people can now find ways to combat disordered consumption so that they can go back to living their full lives.
Jaelyn Vickery:
Yes, doctor Said. I mean, you’re spot on. You’re spot on. And I can tell from not only your experiences yourself as a consumer, but also in the people that you work with. There’s so many elements to this and that’s why it is so broad and applicable across all industries and fields. Because we consume money, sex addiction, information validation, food. I mean it just, it continues to go on and on and the way to combat it is with mindful consumption. Like I, we’re both in agreeing here that you’re not going to stop consuming.
Jaelyn Vickery:
Rather, there is a strong element of avoidance when we are doom scrolling at the end of the day your mind is tired. But we’re social beings. We have the most advanced medium on earth between our ears and that’s the human brain. And when it’s exhausted, we’re still seeking that stimulation, we’re still seeking that, that social connection. Because again, we’re social beings. We have to know what’s going on, we have to stay involved. But at the baseline of all of that is feeling. And feelings are the product of emotions mixed with experiences.
Jaelyn Vickery:
So whether you’re consuming something for a break, you’re consuming it for the feeling of relief. Or whether you’re not consuming something, it’s associated with a feeling of engagement or a feeling of pleasure or a feeling of if you’re escaping sadness, you’re trying to be happy. Like it’s all an exchange of feelings.
Dr. Sev:
Yes, yes, well put. So in your work you highlighted the emotional dimension of wealth. How do emotional triggers drive disordered consumption? Especially when it comes to some of the things you mentioned, money, food or validation.
Jaelyn Vickery:
That’s a great question. So in my line of work I’ve realized, and again based on personal experience as well, I definitely believe that as a clinical therapist I can’t truly be connected and present with the people I work with, unless if I really seek to understand how I operate. And emotions are often the underlying force behind our consumption patterns. People don’t just spend money, overeat, or seek validation because they want to. They do it to self soothe, escape, or feel a sense of control. Control is a huge one. As people, like humans, we do not like change. Like, even if we’re stuck in a cycle that is very destructive, at least we’re comfortable in our destructive cycles.
Jaelyn Vickery:
You know, like the controlled chaos or you, you’re in your own cycles of chaos that you understand and there’s nothing wrong with working with those systems. But again, you have to understand that emotions are the underlying force behind our consumption patterns and everything that we consume, it’s all associated with an experience. And that experience leads to the feeling.
Dr. Sev:
Yes, yes, you mentioned that. Let me go back, cut that out. You mentioned. Well, wrong question. You’re passionate about helping youth, youth, adults. What am I messing up? Okay, back again. You’re passionate about helping youth, young adults and athletes manage their finances. How do you approach financial literacy with these groups in a way that ties in emotional wellness and prevents disordered consumption behaviors?
Jaelyn Vickery:
I appreciate that question. For young people and athletes. I mean even the inner child and athlete that is always within all of us, even if we’re not actively competing or running around anymore. So this goes for all ages. I found that financial literacy is most effective when it’s personal, relatable and proactive. There has been an increase in legislation across the country in different states of enabling and requiring high schools to have a personal finance course that is required for graduation. But where some of these roadblocks happen is that it’s very generalized and it also depends on the socioeconomic area that your high school is involved in. And honestly, some of these disparities or inequalities of access to regulated education and helping athletes, young people, just youth in general, in regards to the preventative approach of financial illiteracy is the fact that sometimes the teachers don’t even know what they’re teaching.
Jaelyn Vickery:
And if you’re just trying to throw like 401ks at a bunch of 17 year olds, it’s just going in one ear and out the other. So it’s so important to make it relatable and even send home like homework and like ways that the kids can engage with their family on their interactions with wealth. Because if their granddaddy didn’t know how to adequately invest and compound the wealth in the family, then their father doesn’t know, then they don’t know, so you’re sending kids home with information that their family may not even really know how to handle. And so that’s why it starts out with that emotional connection, helping them recognize how emotions influence spending and saving, what the experience of purchasing something really is. And then that’s also addressing is there a scarcity or abundance mindset that has been passed down generationally that can potentially impact a youth or even their entire family trees identity and self worth. And I mean, there’s, there’s so much to, to unpack with this question. I mean, I can even go through some symptoms and signs of, of, you know, disordered consumption that can happen within the family tree. It’s, it’s a pretty deep, it’s a very deep topic, especially when you get into the preventative approach in regards to education and the emotional connection with that for youth.
Dr. Sev:
I can imagine that it is because there is so much that has gone on in our lives for us to get here because we’re now in the age of enlightenment, but there’s so much that we have to unpack before we can even be enlightened. It’s great to have the information, it’s great to have the resources. But adding the resources on top of unhealed behaviors, on top of unhealed attitudes and actions doesn’t really help unless we can get to the root of, of those behaviors. And I think that’s what you’re alluding to with, you know, just having the general education and then sending them home. The teachers are teaching things that they don’t understand. The sending them home to the parents to talk about things that the parents may not understand. Because financial literacy is more than financial literacy. It’s more than knowledge.
Dr. Sev:
It is about application. It’s about understanding how this applies to me and how can I make it work for me. Knowing about 401ks, for example, doesn’t mean anything unless I understand what it’s going to do for me and how I can use it. And what are the different parts of the 401k? It’s not just a 401k. There are different vehicles within the 401k. Understanding all of that is so very important. And that’s one of the concerns I have, as you mentioned, about these financial literacy programs that are being pushed out to the schools is the fact that they’re having teachers who are not trained, who are not trained in these fields teaching these subjects. But are they really teaching or are they just sharing information because, you know, how deep are they going to get or how much are they going to be able to answer questions because they’re not trained on these subjects.
Dr. Sev:
And I think what they should have done is reached out to or partner with financial literacy organizations to bring people in to teach these subjects. But it is what it is. So we do what we can while we’re here. Just.
Jaelyn Vickery:
I hear you. Yes, I mean that’s an excellent point. And I mean even when you speak on the organizations that can be involved, that’s where the evolution and expansion of financial therapy is really coming from. And it’s honestly, it’s ridiculous that on Psychology Today, which is a major platform for you can go and search for a therapist that suits your needs. When I graduated and plugged into the therapy space, I uploaded my profile there, but I couldn’t put that one of my specialties was financial therapy. Yet if a person is seeking therapeutic help, there’s like 50 other avenues of specialties that they could select to work with. So I don’t know Psychology Today, maybe people don’t have money problems, but you tell me, right? I mean financial therapy is going to be so important to become more accessible and also become covered by insurance because I mean the practices that I operate under Dimensional Wealth Blueprint Counseling in Illinois Financial Therapy Clinical Institute, I have to channel some of my clients to specific clinical practices because clinical practices only cover like they’re able to operate through insurance. Whereas if it’s a financial therapy only practice, it has to be out of pocket because insurance doesn’t cover care for people who are seeking financial help in regards to their emotional well being.
Jaelyn Vickery:
So what else does that do? It cuts off a huge population of people who cannot afford out of pocket care for therapy because it’s expensive, because therapists also have to make a living. And what happens is the people who actually not only people who make a lot of money need help with their emotional connection to their wealth, but people who live in certain like food deserts, economic deserts, don’t know anything else besides mindset, have no accessibility except maybe to technology where they can continue to doom scroll and be advised by these random people as to how they can get rich quick. And so even like going back to the preventative care approach in regards to when I work with youth, young adults and athletes, I mean really anybody of any age, but especially anyone who is up and coming getting ready to enter the workforce, it’s so important for when you are found to be doom scrolling. I’m trying to develop it as pro scrolling, try to engage with things such as Dr. Sev’s podcast, my podcast, finance, fitness, finesse. Content that really elevates you to pro scroll so that you can become a student of self.
Dr. Sev:
Yes, yes.
Jaelyn Vickery:
The greatest project of a lifetime is yourself. And we spend so much time consuming information in this information era we live in, which is why it is so important to take the time to learn about yourself, be mindful of how is the consumption of this good contributing to the good in my life. And unfortunately, Dr. Sevyn, all that we can hope for is that people watch this podcast and actually, like, take a moment to lasso that thought of, like, wait a minute, that something hit there for me. There’s a thought there that hits for me. Rather than just moving on to the next bit of information that is shoved down your throat because the algorithm has you in a chokehold because you know what it’s doing. It’s attacking the psychology of your consumerism brain. We’re only going to escape it if we flip the script and really look into ourselves.
Dr. Sev:
Yeah, yeah, that is so true. And you, going back to the point that you made about who we’re listening to, it is so very important to check the credentials of the people we’re listening to because we are so trained to react to microwave activities. If it’s something that’s going to make me rich quickly, if it’s something that’s going to help me lose 50 pounds overnight, all those things, we, we are trained to gravitate towards those things. And because that’s what we want, we don’t really examine, for the most part, we don’t examine whether or not those things make sense, because we want that quick fix, we want that solution. And so we really need to look at the credentials of the people who are speaking in front of us. There are people who, with hundreds of thousands and millions followers, who are just telling you what you want to hear rather than the things that you need to hear. And I know sometimes sugar is better than salt and we want the sugar, right, but how is the sugar going to help? How is, how are those things going to help us be our best selves? You’re going to find yourself in a circle going back to the same thing over and over again, because you haven’t. You might not have taken the time to really examine what you’re hearing and seeing.
Dr. Sev:
Is it really applicable and is it something that’s going to work long term? So I hope what you’re hearing as you’re listening to this podcast, what you’re hearing from Jay and from me, that you’re really going to take the time to absorb it and see how can I make changes in my life so that I can be my best self. And listen, we’re not saying to stop doing. Doing what, what you enjoy. Maybe just change a little bit of what you’re doing so that now you can start moving forward. Because this is a time when the world is so chaotic that it behooves us to really step back and see, where do I want to be in life? What do I want my next five years to look like? And based on that, what should I be feeding my soul? What should I be feeding my spirit so that those things can come to pass in the next five years? So we’ve gone a little bit philosophical, but I hope, I hope really that as you’re listening to this, that it really resonates with you. Okay.
Jaelyn Vickery:
Amen to that. Yeah.
Dr. Sev:
So in your podcast, which is Finance, Fitness and Finesse, and go take a listen to her podcast. I’m going to be sharing all of that in the show notes on all of the podcast platforms and on YouTube. In your podcast, again, Finance Fitness and Finesse, you emphasize the importance of wellness in financial literacy. How do you balance the concept of financial success with the need for emotional health in achieving true wealth?
Jaelyn Vickery:
Thank you for that question. So the. I want to go to the birth of my podcast. And the primary reason why I developed Finance Fitness Finesse F3 for short, is I was again, it started when I graduated and I was just like, okay, well, the idea started when I graduated and I sat on the idea for like eight to 10 months and it like haunted me that I just couldn’t get started until I just ripped the band aid off and just publish an episode. And now it’s really been growing and flowing in a way that has been so wonderful just to share with the world. And it was meant to, it is meant to share my journey through altering, building and expanding my perspective on wealth and also helping my generation and all generations that are able to listen to it realize that true wealth is not just about numbers. It’s about our quality of life. It’s not what we see as we’re doom scrolling or what you see your neighbor down the street has or your friend has this or xyz.
Jaelyn Vickery:
It comes down to the quality of life, not only in the short term, but also the long term that you’re seeking for yourself. And I just, I love my podcast because I get to network with people. Dr. Sev is going to be on season three or four of the pod coming up here this year. Um, and I Just love collaborating with like minded people who are seeking to really help others with my mission in dimensional wealth. Build wealth with wellness. Financial success should support your well being, not come at its expense. And one of my favorite slogans that I use for my podcast, I came up with it because I realized that, you know, graduating and seeing all my friends go back home to their parents because, you know, it’s super difficult to live on your own in this like current economy and like how our incomes coming out of school are really not matching up with the cost of living and the cost of inflation that has really been prevalent post pandemic.
Jaelyn Vickery:
And so the slogan I came up for because I was like, why is everybody just so angry? And we’re scrolling through everything, doing scrolling and we’re being fed this propaganda that just like pours gasoline on our well being. And I was like, huh? I was going for a run one day and I came up with the slogan, you’re not woke, you’re broke. And what that means is you’re not woke in the fact that you’re not woke in what you truly need. And it’s the fact that you’re broke. Maybe in your pockets, but in your spirit too. So if you want to be angry, let’s at least know what we’re angry about so then we can begin to find balance.
Dr. Sev:
Yes. Yeah, I love that. And you mentioned something about, you know, the people watching other people on, on social media. One of the things we have to realize is social media is, is a highlight reel. Nobody’s going to go on there and say, listen, I’m broke. Well, very few people are going to go on there and say I’m broke. This car that you see me here, you’re not showcasing is my friend’s car or I just went to the dealership to buy a car, they allow me to drive it. So now I’m taking pictures of it in front of my yard, making it, well, maybe in front of my friend’s yard making it feels like, you know, that’s my car, this is my house.
Dr. Sev:
It, it’s all of it could all be a facade. So let’s not get caught up in the mirage. You know, when, when in olden days they would create these facades in buildings and you would have these western country and western shows or western and you would think that they are going into a saloon. No, they weren’t going into a saloon. They had the buildings. They were all facades that made, were made to look like they were saloons from the old days. And a lot of what we could, we, we’re seeing on social media could be those kinds of things, facades. So let’s not get caught up in that because we see so much exposure of some of these people, eventually some of them are going to prison.
Dr. Sev:
So just again, going back to the question of who are you getting fed by and what are they? How are they qualified to feed you? Just be careful with that.
Jaelyn Vickery:
Absolutely, yeah.
Dr. Sev:
You’ve been working on developing disorder consumption therapy. You did mention some practical steps that people can take. What are some additional ones that they can take if they’re trying to break free from disordered habits, whether it’s related to finances or other areas?
Jaelyn Vickery:
Yeah, great question. I really appreciate that. What I want to, I’m going to provide a few practical steps. But for those listening, what I encourage you to really zone in on is concept number one, being a student of self. And you can develop that over time. Like it’s a practice, it’s a lifelong practice, be a student of self. And number two, the question that’s been really helping me, like, look, I’m in my 20s, I go out and like, I’ll drink and like, you know, engage with the social settings. I’m a homebody for real, but I don’t really like drinking a lot.
Jaelyn Vickery:
And it’s interesting leaving student athlete party culture where, you know, oh, we, we black out when we’re not, you know, playing. And I’m being transparent there because I’m not going to stand up here as a therapist saying that I always had all of my well being together, but when I was seeking to consume that alcohol so that I could consume what it feels like to belong in a group setting, it really left me spiraling. And so moving forward from that experience and post graduating and working in a field where the practice of well being needs to be a very strong skill that I’m constantly developing and looking to expand is again back to that question of how is the consumption of this good contributing to the good in my life? Now that question sometimes can deter us to be like, geez, you know, should I just not do this at all? And then, you know, now you’re living a life of restriction. And I had an eating disorder before and restriction is also not the path that you need to be taking. And I could tell you that from experience. But what I’m saying there with that question, how is the consumption of that good contributing to the good in my life? Maybe it’s the short term, maybe it’s, yeah, I’ll go have a few drinks with my friends yeah, I’ll go out to eat or yeah, I’ll doom scroll through memes. And the consumption of that good in the short term is contributing to different releases of the pleasure chemicals, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, that contribute to our sense of belonging and our sense of peace. And that is okay.
Jaelyn Vickery:
However, is the consumption of that good contributing to the good in your life long term? That’s where you need to make that comparison. So just using that question myself in my life has really offered some really effective insight of where I can tell myself that I need to step away from how much I’m consuming no matter what it is. Food, money, information, et cetera. It’s really helped me step away from it when I’m ready and not when society or peer pressure or friend group tells me to. And so I want to list off a few practical steps to expand on. Being a student of self and questioning how the consumption of a good is contributing to the good in your life. And number one, self awareness. Track your spending and eating to identify your emotional patterns.
Jaelyn Vickery:
And I don’t mean just like track it like in a book, but being mindful about it. When you’re eating and you’re like, geez, I’m full, or geez like I’m why am I eating so much? Lasso the thought like literally, like a cowboy, literally, I’m like lasso the thought, catch it and observe it and be like, okay, am I eating a lot because I had a really long day. What are some of the things that led up to it earlier in that week? Was something stressful? Is your body just exhausted? Is it craving energy? Things like that? And this is these are some of the higher level emotional intellect that utilizing a professional such as myself, Dr. Sev, different types of therapists, counselors, maybe even someone in your household that you trust and that you can confide in. Being a student of self means exercising your superpower, which is your self awareness. A few other practical steps for really breaking free from disordered consumption and transforming it into mindful consumption is, you know, setting some realistic standards for yourself. And I intentionally avoided the word boundary, goal or rule because when humans don’t like change, but we also don’t like rules. And the reason why is because if you break the rule or the goal or the boundary, typically it goes into a spiral of I’m not enough, I’m not disciplined, I can’t hold myself accountable.
Jaelyn Vickery:
And then you just end up completely over indulging and consuming because you’re like, well I already messed up, so might as well just completely go off the rails with it. And that has so much more long term effects than we really realize. So set realistic expectations for yourself if you do fall into a place of, hey, I stepped outside of my mindful consumption skills and how can I learn from this? How can I work to be a student of self and really seek to understand? And then with that shifting from a scarcity to abundance mindset. The term scarcity and abundance can be a little bit distant jargon or word terminology for people in different generations. But really the way that I can break down scarcity and abundance is that if you find yourself in a scarcity mindset, that doesn’t only mean that you’re in a food desert or that you’re poor or that you’re from a lower socioeconomic status, a scarcity mindset could be, geez, I’m really creating connection. So I keep scrolling and looking at this person’s same profile. Or I’m really craving to find my sense of self and I’m really craving to work a style. That’s why I’m obsessed obsessively.
Jaelyn Vickery:
Looking at this influencer’s page, scarcity could even look like doubting yourself in a work setting, in an interaction with someone where you’re like, I just don’t think that I’m at the same level as them. We all have the ability to elevate our way of thinking and that has to come from shifting and lassoing the negative thoughts, the negative bias that we have about ourselves to develop. I am abundant. I have the ability to be abundant in who I am and who I am growing to be.
Dr. Sev:
Yeah, I love it. Love it. And, and we don’t like to be introspective for the most part because then we think we’re going to find things that we need to, quote, unquote, fix. And as you said, we don’t like change because if we find something that we think we’re going to have to fix and we have to look at what can I do to fix it? And it may mean changing some things, but if that change is going to lead to better fulfillment, a more robust life, a more wealthy life, why not? Why not do it? Why not do it?
Jaelyn Vickery:
Yes. Yeah. And last thing I want to add on that doctor said, like, you’re spot on. That’s why in my line of work, building wealth with wellness means redefining and re establishing wealth on your terms, not on what’s expected of you, of what success is or what the status quo of success Is it’s just so ironic to me that we seek to avoid looking intrinsically looking inward at ourselves when we engage in those different elements of avoidance, to engage with a different feeling. But then they’re like, oh, like, I don’t want to do this because I don’t want to feel yet. You’re literally going to achieve another feeling. Like, I hate to break it to you guys, but we are beings that feel like you’re never going to escape your feelings. Okay, yes.
Dr. Sev:
Yes. That is so true. So let me ask a couple more questions for you. How do you envision the future of financial therapy? We all agree that things are evolving and you’re going in the right direction. So how do you envision that future? And what role would you think emotional wellness is going to play or is playing in shaping how we approach financial planning and education?
Jaelyn Vickery:
I hear you. Financial therapy is going to become more mainstream, and that begins with bridging the gap between traditional financial advising and mental health. There are several organizations that I’m part of that I very much enjoy elevating from the Financial Therapy association to financial social work. There’s also the Financial Therapy Clinical Institute. And like I said, I also work with organization called Blueprint, which is mainly clinically based, but very much focuses on the evolution of different specialties within financial therapy. So definitely check some of those out. If anyone listening is looking to get plugged in with different professionals who can help them build their emotional wealth and their financial wealth to really encompass the dimensional wealth within the human experience. So the future of financial therapy, it’s coming whether we like it or not.
Jaelyn Vickery:
Like, people are stressed and depressed and yes, you know, people are stressed and depressed. So we seek to understand. We are. We are beings that really seek to learn and we operate out of seeing a problem, addressing it, and growing from it. Even if you feel like you’re in a rut, you’re probably wondering to yourself, why am I feeling this way? Why do I stay in these cycles? Why am I not motivated? Oh, my gosh. That is one of the biggest questions I get from my clients, which is why I very much am about the momentum mindset. Because if we sit around waiting for motivation, we’re going to stay stuck in that same spot for a very, very long time. I want to finish answering your question about the role that emotional wellness plays in shaping how we approach financial planning and education.
Jaelyn Vickery:
Terms such as budgeting or even financial planning or even like just let’s talk money. It just turns people off immediately. And a lot of the times it’s due to insecurities that have been placed on us, no matter what your gender is, that you’re not smart enough to understand money unless if you were a finance degree or you’re good at math. And those are two stigmas that need to be squashed and need to be very much challenged within yourself. First, like who established that limiting belief that you’re not good at money just because you’re not a man, or you’re not into money, or you don’t come from money, or you’re not good at math? Like, who said that to you? Because let me know, let me know who said that to you and contact me and we’ll talk about it. But emotional wellness can very much shape our financial wellness in a positive way if we can work to encourage ourselves and those that are involved in our financial well being, that if you engage in values based spending or mindful consumption, it can help combat those impulse driven choices that we resort to when we’re emotionally exhausted and just seeking to have that quick fix of happiness. And then I also want to add on to that that it’s so important to work to make our financial literacy more person centered than culturally responsive.
Dr. Sev:
Yes. Yeah. Because really, personal finance is personal. Right? There is no cookie cutter fix for any of what it is that we’re dealing with. Because even within the same household, two people can grow up hearing the exact same thing, but they internalize it differently, they socialize it differently. And so even if I am going to coach or advise those two people, I can’t say, well, they grew up in the same household. So this is what I need to teach them. I have to listen to how they internalize what they learned in order to coach them the correct way.
Dr. Sev:
Because again, personal finance is personal. We have to make sure that when we are working with people, we are addressing them and how they are dealing with whatever it is they’re dealing with.
Jaelyn Vickery:
Be a student of self. Yeah, be a student of self. Because I, I come from a family of like four girls and we were all certainly raised to be alpha females, but I, I was the one who really attacked an interest in behavioral finance and things like that. And that was post school. That was when I was just out in the real world. And I mean, I have different experiences of my interpretations of relationships to money than my siblings. So that’s even where the conversation can open up, is just asking your family members like, hey, what is, what’s your interpretation of wealth?
Dr. Sev:
Yeah. Yes. So much to unpack. So much to unpack. So as we get ready to wrap up. I’d love for you to kind of leave what it is that you want to leave with the audience. What. What do you want them to take away from.
Dr. Sev:
From our discussion here today.
Jaelyn Vickery:
I appreciate that, and this has been so fun. Thank you for having me on. For those listening, I want to keep it short and sweet, and I’ll reiterate just a few things that I said. Start small. Learn what it is to define success and wealth on your terms, and see where you can lasso some of those limiting beliefs that cater to your negativity bias as to what your capabilities are. And if you find yourself being very, very angry about where you’re at in life or. Or just intermittently upset with certain things that are happening in the world, think about what the statement, you’re not woke, you’re broke means. That’s not meant to be something combative or malicious towards you.
Jaelyn Vickery:
I’ve asked myself that question, and it’s an evolving and consistent practice of really realizing where am I trying to go in regards to the way I want to live my life? But really, it starts out with really taking in where you’re at today. I have a poster up that I developed in my apartment that says, I’m thankful for today because today is all I have. And each day I have to consume food, I have to consume money. I’m always consuming information. I’m always consuming interactions, validation, things like that. So how is the consumption of the good contributing to the good in my life, both in the short and long term? I really look forward to connecting with anyone who listened to this podcast and is able to lasso some of the thoughts that came up for them that really hit. Definitely comment on Dr. Sev’s page and on this episode so that we can keep this conversation going.
Jaelyn Vickery:
Because just like Dr. Sev said, this is an expansive topic and I can’t develop this research on my own. Like, I. I need to hear from my fellow consumers. So, I mean, let’s develop this together because, you know, we go further together.
Dr. Sev:
Yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much. And I will be sharing all of Jay’s contact information, her websites, the link to her podcast, all of that in the show notes and in the description of the YouTube channel. But share with us one place that they can possibly go find you right now.
Jaelyn Vickery:
Yeah. So definitely refer to the show notes. Not enough people check out the show notes after podcast, and there’s actually a plethora of resources there. I have my website under. Under construction, but it will be uploaded to the main place to Find Me is LinkedIn. It’s just like my name. My handle is aylinvickery. So LinkedIn is the best place to get access to all of the different concepts that we talked about and to connect with me.
Jaelyn Vickery:
And I’d be happy to have a conversation with you, network, or even just refer you to the right place to go so that you can really begin to be the best student of self.
Dr. Sev:
All right, Jade, thank you so much for coming on the Dr. Seb talks, money podcast and sharing. And again, there’s just so much we could dive into in these, in these, in this topic, because people are hurting. People are in pain, and they really need to hear how they can get the help they need. And I pray that something we talked about today addressed some of the needs. And if it didn’t, you can always contact Jay, contact me, and I have a list of referrals because I can’t do this alone. Jay can’t do this alone. But with our colleagues, we are going to get you the help that you need.
Dr. Sev:
And if you cannot pay for the services, please do not let that be a deterrent. We have free resources that we can send you to to get you the help that you need. And while you’re at it, please remember to subscribe to the podcast on YouTube. If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leave a review and a rating. And if you listen on Spotify, leave a rating. And as you are completing your ratings, remember that we love the number five. Until then, this is Dr. Sev saying, Stay savvy and we will see you next time.
